Saturday, 18 July 2015



Being that I am a single lady, I find myself often in situations where I have the option to accept or decline a date.  As simple as it may seem to make the decision to answer yes or no, I have consistently (recently) resisted and said no! ...Let me tell you why.
Now that I am 20 (ahem) something years old, I have made a conscious decision to NOT SETTLE. As women, we sometimes tend to limit our standards when looking or waiting for the "perfect mate" mainly because we feel we're getting old, our body clock is slowing down, the chance to have kids is getting slimmer... blah blah blah.  These common thoughts and feelings should NOT be the reason why we don't allow ourselves to be truly happy and satisfied with the decision we make towards settling with the one. Now don't get it twisted, there is no such thing as the "perfect mate" but there is someone out there for all of us that we are capable of loving deeply, unconditionally, for a lifetime because of compatibility.
So when I answer no to a date, the main reason is because I see no point in entertaining small talk or giving a guy a chance if already there are a few deal-breakers. It not only leads the guy on, but wastes your precious time... you could have read a book or painted your nails!

DEAL-BREAKER: a factor or issue which, if unresolved during negotiations, would cause one party to withdraw from a deal.

For instance, a fine young man with no pimple could be extremely pleasing to the eye but, if you are a non-smoker and would prefer to be with a non-smoker, compromising your standards because you think/feel you won't have that amazing chemistry with someone else, will only bite you in the butt at a later date.
It's ok to wait, it's ok to be a little high maintenance, it's ok to have standards. If your potential suitor doesn't understand them, oh well!

It has become foreign in today's society for things to be done in order. We tend to no longer get married, move in and have babies. The general norm is to live with your partner, accidently have kids and 'may as well' get married after several years or co-habiting. For me personally, I would like to be pursued, I would like the (lucky) guy I am to marry, to ask my mama for my hand in marriage etc. etc. I feel it shows a ground level of respect.
I do believe that living with someone 100% gives you the opportunity to really get to know that person, find out what they're about and determine whether or not you are willing to tolerate the annoying sides to them and love them anyway. With that being said, I however personally feel that if you reserve yourself from intimacy, it is clear to see, feel and tune into your emotions towards that person without the cloudiness of sexual desires. Finding someone that also is willing to really get to know you on a mental and spiritual level will enable yourselves to connect in the most authentic way.
The down side to living with your partner means, if it doesn't work out, you are surrounded by the memories of what could've been and should've been. You become comfortable, with no real commitment!


Committing to telling you the truth, committing to making time for you, committing to you is A BIG DEAL. Really think about if you're ready to commit to calling that special one, in pursuit of something concrete. "Seeing what happens" is the wrong way to go about commitment in relationships... you would have already destructed the foundation, before building something genuine.
Being with someone is a choice. I believe God puts people in our lives or allows our paths to cross with people for a reason...ultimately you will meet someone in the most natural of ways (unless you're on tinder or plenty of fish)and things will just happen, but remember, you're in control of what happens next!
Communication is one of the most vital parts of any relationship. We can at times get so wrapped up in each other, we neglect he important conversations. Questions like 'do you want kids, do you want to raise a family in the city, are you planning on working in McDonalds for much longer'... these conversations need to be had. Interrogation is not the way forward, but an easy breazy chit chat over a calm coffee would suffice. Ladies don't be afraid to go there, guys too!

If you're serious about settling down and would like to share your life with someone sometime soon, don't be afraid to dive right in with the tough questions. If that person is for you it will be all gravy baby :)

STYLE TIP- Remember to love you first! Learn from the past, embrace the present and look forward the future!


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