The Ultimate Love Story

I'm Such A Romantic, I Love LOVE!!

I really wanted to write up something on this subject over Easter weekend, because whether you want to believe or not, Jesus dying on the cross for YOU, for ME, for HIM (that dusty ex) and HER, IS the ultimate love story!

I'm not sure I've ever been in-love, but I know what love looks and feels like. The love I have for my mom, niece and nephew (in particular) is beyond me! It's selfless, it's consistent, it's caring, it's unconditional... it's that willingness to do whatever it takes to ensure the purest of heart is truly felt and received always in all ways.  It's honest, raw, sincere...

I remember having a conversation with a friend of mine, and he said (in these exact words)

  ''people will never love you, as much as they love themselves'' 

I sat with his statement and then argued my disagreement because I don't believe that's true love, I think that's selfish. I believe to TRULY love, a major element of self-sacrificing is heavily involved...your pride, ego has to go out the window! You should compromise and these things can't be done selfishly! 

I watched a series on YouTube  called - Relationship Goals  and part 2 of the series explained that you must 

1. Love God
2. Love yourself 
3. Love Others equally (to self)

GOD
Okay, so... To love God, is to know God.
In the same way we are attracted to things and become attached to how these 'things' makes us feel, enough to want to spend time with these things, is the same way you should connect and develop a relationship with God.
I've spent time getting to know God throughout the course of my life and it's the most inexplicable experience. I've never felt so at peace, so unusually happy (even when nothing in my life is going right), humbled, secure, hopeful...I could go on. But most importantly, LOVED! And in all honesty I'm still yet to grasp the magnitude of his love due to lack of time I've spent speaking to God. 

God's love factors in how selfish, irresponsible, hurtful, ugly, spiteful, inconsiderate, greedy we are and loves us anyway. Isn't that INSANE?! I'm sorry but I'm so quick to cut someone off when they don't save me any food, that kind of behaviour I find unacceptable, but God makes allowances for the murderers, the thieves... like he really has an overflowing amount of love. It's INCREDIBLE!

His love is 

  ''...patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.''

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 

SELF

Surely you've seen the movie The Bodyguard. 
If you haven't, you must live under a rock. It's such a iconic film. 
As most of you know, in the film,  Frank (Kevin Costner) has this undying love for Rachel
(Whitney Houston), to the point his job to protect her becomes his life! How beautiful!! I mean it's nothing in comparison to someone actually choosing to die for you. 
Wow, how embarrassing, I actually tried to reference Gods love to The Bodyguard lol.  
The point I'm trying to make is, God is our bodyguard (smooth transition right). He wants to protect us, provide for us, give us a whole life, a fulfilling, fearless, abundant life. Do you even know what that looks like?! Neither me! But that's what he wants. For us to be in a place where we lack nothing!!! A love that wants you to be whole, not needing someone to complete you.

Can you imagine someone offering themselves as a sacrifice to show HOW much they love you?! Being spat on several times by masses of people, punched, kicked, beaten, whipped and then nails hammered into your hands and feet, so that your body could be HUNG up on a cross?! That amount of pain is unfathomable. To think a love beyond our knowledge, endured such hell for us?!
So yeah, once you know THAT kind of love in it's entirety, you are able to see yourself from Gods perspective and act accordingly. 
Knowing you are made perfectly, you are deserving, you are valuable, precious in his sight. No matter how unseen you feel by people, the one who CREATED YOU... knows exactly how many follicles of hair are on YOUR head, sees you and thinks you're awesome. That is a beautiful assurance. It's a confidence that is next level and truly embeds real self love. You are only then capable of loving others the way you love yourself.

OTHERS 

The importance of loving others should be equal to the love you give yourself. 

I've experienced first hand, that if you do not work on your deficiencies, you subconsciously project them onto other people, which is why it is so important to know WHO you are. The last thing you want, is to burden people with your voids and jeopardize loving relationships out of lack of self-love.

If you know your value and understand what loving yourself should look like, for example:
-taking the time to reflect each day on what you've experienced,
-unpacking your thoughts/feelings, 
-ensuring you've freed yourself of any negativity
-releasing all tension from your mind/body and then recharging with positive affirmations,
you'll then have the same kind of time and patience towards others. If you can give yourself this time, you can be in a better position to give this time to others.
In order to give others the best of us, in a way that doesn't require us to be dependent on what they have to offer, we must do the self-love work. I think the strength in loving others is when you can freely do so, without needing a return.

On this Easter Sunday, I want to acknowledge the selfless love Jesus gave. It is a love I believe is worth seeking after. It may not make sense to many, it may not be of interest to your lifestyle, it may not be part of your brand lol however IT IS the GREATEST LOVE OF ALL.
God loves all of us, but it's important for you to know that he loves YOU, personally. He cares about YOU and took one hell of a beating specifically for YOU! God thinks you are worth every bit of pain he endured. I pray you never forget the true meaning of Easter!

That Fine Line

Hey y'all! How's (quaran) things?! I hope y'all are keeping sane!

I've been using part of my time to continuously better who I am and also who I can become to others. Looking at why and how I react to certain things and what is at the core of my behaviour patterns. A self-love discovery I guess you can call it!

I wanted to share some thoughts with you.

The other night my homegirl and I were chatting away about how we've both recognised that it's within both of our natures to 'do good'. We constantly extend ourselves to people who have proven nonchalant of our time and energy. 

The chunk of the convo was us going back and forth about whether or not it is redundant to show kindness, thoughtfulness and politeness, when it can sometimes appear the recipient is unbothered.

I then received a text from someone I've not gotten along with for some time, and the 'do good' in me was going to respond to the text out of politeness (you know, as acknowledgement) EVEN THOUGH, every fiber in my body did not want to respond. 

I decided not to. I thought, nope! Why should I?! I don't want to. But then I was struggling with why it felt like SUCH a big (minor) decision.

It begs the question, are you a fool to continuously show love to those who aren't the easiest to love?!  I mean the good book does say 

''Don't throw your pearls before swines...'' -Matthew 7:6

I've always been torn between cutting people off and being patient with them. It's that fine line between protecting yourself and doing what you believe is right regardless. But I had to sit with God and ask whhhhhyyyyyyyyyy? Why do I have to be nice lol why can't I be like those 'chest-high' people that rdgaf?!
The answer is, because God is love and I know his love, I'm convicted to do what I believe is right! And if I want to be a reflection of his love, I have to constantly give! Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.

''If at the end of the love you give, is to get it back in return, you ain't loving, you're looking out for yourself.' - Miss Viv King

Sylvia and I also briefly spoke on forgiveness. We as humans sometimes harbor things in our hearts thinking we've forgiven and moved on, but the true test is your attitude to towards the person later on down the line. Are you cutting your eyes at them in your heart? lol
It's easy (for some) to be fake enough to say 'Hi' but that rooted wound of hurt will always show face in tension. You can't disguise tension, it's the most bold faced energy of them all. Forgiveness sets you free and eventually the other person, that's if they've internally done the work too.

Last night I was scrolling through instagram and my insta bud Vivian coincidentally explained my findings so perfectly! If you're on insta her name is @missvivkingx.

This is some of what she shared:

A real self-love journey teaches you to love others as yourself. It teaches you to see yourself in other peoples weakness, to identify in what makes us all human! You learn not to put yourself above anything because you too are capable of the absolute worse.
A true self-love journey teaches empathy, understanding, grace, how to make room for the human dysfunction and errors.

Outside of the love of God, you find a type of love that keeps records of how much they've done for you, how you didn't show up for their sake, it's transactional, if you aren't loving... that's not love. It's a transactional activity in disguise.
Christ teaches the sort of love that fills your heart with godliness, goodness, patience, kindness, not-self seeking, not prideful...truly living LOVE, it pushes you beyond yourself & it puts your pride on the line every time!!

It feels uncomfortable to you, its self-sacrificing, but it reaches out for others & build bridges!!
It makes things right, where there are wrongs, it pulls your heart to love those who aren't easiest to love, to love those who do very little for you, to love those who you gain nothing from... it makes allowances for hurt & disappointments!!

That fine line is balance. Finding the balance between guarding your heart in wisdom and allowing grace to fill the gap! God sacrificed his life for us, so the least we (I) can do is continue to love on (from a distance) those that probably need it most, irrespective of whether it is earned, deserved or unappreciated. 
Easter is around the corner so I'll definitely be writing up on LOVE (my favourite subject) and the ultimate love story.

STYLE TIP- Make allowance for each other's (fashion) faults, and forgive anyone who offends you (in style). 

Jacket- Charity Shop
Top- EBay
Jeans-Newlook
Boots- Zara
Glasses- HM