Who Needs Therapy

Do you find it difficult to open up?

I've come to the conclusion that I'm an overly emotional, unemotional, clingy but distant private person who likes to overshare at any moment and I'm still trying to figure out, how that works.
The more I have in depth conversations with my mama and friends, I'm finding that we all need special attention and space to release our feels.

Just wanted to encourage you to explore spaces that allow you to do that.
I was shaken by the recent passing of Caroline Flack and naturally began to ask the questions 'why wasn't there anyone close enough to her, how did she get to that place, why did it get to that point...'
We must check in with ourselves and our loved ones! Lets make an effort to do the work. It may start with therapy, it may not, but lets start nurturing our mental health.




Life can be pretty tough. Situations can feel beyond overwhelming. Seeking the guidance of a wise professional will help us understand ourselves. Therapy can be expensive, so perhaps a support group amongst friends or having A friend to hold you accountable. It's something I'm definitely going to explore.

Style Tip- Be kind, to yourself and others

SHALLOW AS A KITTY POOL!

Is Love Really Blind?

I've recently tuned into a Netflix series called 'Love Is Blind'. It's a social experiment where a group of men and women are given the opportunity to get to know one another without the comfort of seeing each others appearance.

Now you can call me shallow all you want honey, but I literally ain't about to date someone I'm not physically attracted to.
Disclaimer: I CAN NOT date anyone who lacks substance either, or someone who doesn't understand/possess good values. 
I won't say I'm totally against trying, however I have been in a few awkward situations where I've been approached by individuals (I haven't been outwardly attracted to) and got the 'ick!!'.
Whatever floats your boat right?

It's quite amazing that in such a short amount of time, the people involved in this social experiment have developed real feelings for each other. It's the purest setting! They are falling in love with people they're ACTUALLY and INTIMATELY getting to know, irrespective of what race, height, size or age is on the other side of the wall. I think it's genius! The physical stuff can be so distracting and lust is so real in these streets.
The big test is when they are revealed to each other! Is that connection still there, are they actually deep in love?! There is a plot twist though. Before they meet,  they are to be engaged to then get married within 4 WEEKS.
So these people have literally fallen in love (some after 3days) gotten engaged, finally met in person, to be introduced to each others families (who have no idea any of this is happening!) and then take vows to commit for life! WILD!

I'm a hopeless romantic and I love love, but this... I dunno! I guess because the physical attraction side of things for me (personally) is apart of my deal breakers, it's foreign to me that this can happen. Realistically though, I don't think any of the couples that are on this journey, don't find each other physically attractive.
 I low-key wish I could've been apart of the experiment, to find out if the physical stuff is that important to me.
I guess because I've always liked shiny things, I'd have to rewire myself to see the beauty in things that aren't so shiny or may be shiny in a different area. That's not to say I can't appreciate what isn't aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Preference.

There is a particular couple who are struggling in this area. The lady (Jessica 34) has fallen in love to be married to a younger man (Mark 24). He is besotted by her and she too is smitten by him, but he ain't physically doing it for her! Damn. She's been staying the course and giving it time to ensure the physical attraction can grow, but because the emotional connect is there and strong, homegirl is reluctant to part ways so soon.
What would you do?! It must be such a difficult place to be in.

It is a refreshing watch, especially to see if their genuine connect from clear, consistent communication and authentic compatibility can lead to a long lasting marriage.
I mean they are all realistically in the 'honeymoon' period and I do think getting married after a month is a hasty move...
It takes tiiiime to really KNOW someone. I had my first argument with a friend of mine the other day after almost 10 years of never even bickering and that showed me a side of her I'd never seen. We as people are forever changing (well should be). These people are out here risking it all! What a mess lol

Anything worth having requires some level of risk and sacrifice. It all boils down to how bad you want it. Whether that be a loving relationship, a career or possession. Ask yourself some important questions..
Is this worth it?
Am I willing to give my all?
Can I commit?
How does this make me feel?
Will this be an addition to my life?

Sometimes it takes a different approach to gain a desired outcome and that initial feeling of discomfort is to change you for the better.
These people are evidently searching for MORE! They weren't okay with an 'okay companionship'. They needed more! They've put themselves out there in doing this social experiment to find something amazing, passionate, different/real.

I may do a follow up post if I'm still tuned into this series! Let me know if y'all are watching!

Style Tip- Okay is not the reason you risk absolutely everything you've got for the smallest chance that something amazing could happen. Love (your dream, spouse, career) passionately! 

MISSION: GET SNATCHED!

THIS BAWDY!!

So I've been wanting to get in shape for the longest! I've always been an active person who loves sports.
Growing up with 2 older brothers, I became naturally super competitive and a bit of a tomboy. Now that I'm 31 my metabolism is trying me! My body is acting like I'm not AS capable at being strong and sexy. I'm about to prove her wrong!
I will say, I like and enjoy my body AS IS! My shape is curvy, thick, playful and I believe it's important to love our bodies at every stage! However, I want tone and muscle definition, so lets get it!



I've decided to commit wholeheartedly to working out consistently and eating better. This MUST be a lifestyle change for me personally in order for things to stick, which is why I'm being realistic about my process.
I loooooove cake, I have the biggest sweet tooth and anything carby gets me excited. It's best that I go cold turkey and cut out COMPLETELY some foods that will work against this journey. Sugar NO, juice NO, bread NO, cheese NO, and rice HELL NO (I have no self control with these foods).

I've been consistently eating the same dry food for a while. I'd like to switch it up and get more creative in the kitchen, but to be honest, I don't know if I have that kind of energy. I do realise the importance of meal prep though. It definitely prevents me from grabbing rubbish (Doritos, M&Ms)  when I'm hungry. For that reason and that reason only, I've stuck to the following meals daily.

• Breakfast- Oats porridge with honey and a banana or 2 boiled eggs and a cup of green/peppermint tea
• Lunch- A bowl of fruit or a tuna/chicken salad (homemade). I make a mean salad!!!! Sometimes I'll just have a smoothie/protein shake.
• Dinner- FishChicken with vegetables or sweet potato. 
• Snacks- Cashew nuts or fruit.

I recently watched a short doc on Netflix called 'The Game Changers' and it really opened up my eyes to how plant based foods have been a complete game changer in the health and fitness world. I tend to eat a lot of meat and prefer red meat to white meat, however watching The Game Changers has given me a complete new outlook on what I should put into my body.

I'm holding myself accountable by blogging my process!  Join me!

My session
I tend not to do too much cardio, as I drop weight very quickly. I'll be focusing on workouts to help burn fat and gain muscle. I'd like to share what I'll be eating too, as I know that abs (in specific) are made in the kitchen. This is my process to achieving an improved version of myself, I'm not a guru so feel free to give me tips and tricks! I need all the help I can get.

Take a look at how my leg/bootay session went down.



Weighted Squats- 20 reps x3 rounds
Weighted Lunges- 10-15 reps x3 rounds
Kettle Bell Swings (Squats)- 15 reps x3 rounds
Squat Jumps- 20 reps x3 rounds
Donkey Kicks- 20 reps x2 rounds
Rainbow Kicks- 15 reps x2 rounds
Calf Press- 30 + reps
Hip Abduction- 30+ reps
Hamstring curls- 20+ reps

Weighted crunches- 20 reps x3 rounds
Reverse crunches- 20 reps x3 rounds
Bum lifts to plank- 15 reps x3 rounds


Subscribe to my YouTube channel if you want to see more content from me! I'll be posting weekly thangs there too!

Fit Tip- Keep pushing until the mission is complete!

All you need is to PIVOT once!

WoW, WE'RE HERE!! Back on the blog 3 years later!! What is happening!!!

I don't even know where to start. So much has changed and happened for me over the last 3 years! I'm in a whole new decade!! We're in a whole new decade! Literally!

Obviously I've learnt and gained and lost some thangs along the way, so lets talk about that.

I'll begin with my relationship status, SINGLE!!! and still loving it, although I am actively opening myself up to the playing field. I'm ready for love!
I last blogged in 2017, which was the ending of a very toxic relationship. By the way, this blogging thing has always been therapeutic for me and I feel like being a lot more open about my personal life... because I feel like it. It may change tomorrow, but this is today.

So the toxic relationship started from a place of depriving myself of meaningless attention from the opposite sex for about 2-3 years. I finally wanted to date and the devil heard me! I'm not even joking. The guy I temporarily opened myself up to was hell on earth.
It started out so well. He was dork (dark) 6'3, dressed well, sooo funny, a little hood and very respectful. He was very transparent about his feelings, his shortcomings and pursued me with intention to make me his 'one and only'. Little did I know, this was a facade.

We became so infatuated with each other so quickly, that I did not allow myself the space to register how I truly felt about him and whether or not he was what I was looking for in a husband. YES A HUSBAND! Cause I don't date for the sake of it.
Being that I was receiving all this attention, I latched on way way waaay too soon.

Long story short, he became too much, to the point he was mainly the only person I spoke to and saw (which is not like me).  He slowly started to manipulate me and became quickly verbally abusive. The crazy part was, I never saw how affected I was by all of it until I made my exit!

Walking away from that situation was the most exhausting experience. It took me years to build back my self esteem again and find myself. I'm still in that process. Which brings me to a refreshing conversation I had today with a friend.

She basically told me I'm yet to find my sauce! loool
I find it funny, because it's the realest and truest statement of 2020 so far. Ladies, do you know how saucy you are? Do you know yourself through and through? I genuinely thought I knew myself but I can now see that there's so much more information I'm yet to find out about ME.
Relationships teach you a lot about your characteristics I believe, but it shouldn't just be in a relationship that you gain more knowledge. I'm realising in this single hood (it's quite ghetto here I might add), how important it is to spend QUALITY time WITH yourself.
I've been quite neglectful which is probably why I've allowed myself to be in situations that did not serve me. It's a startling discovery because I spend a lot of time alone and I thoroughly enjoy my own company, however I think I need to give myself permission to stand firmly in who I currently am, who I'm becoming, who I'm going to be and HOW I'm evolving... who would of thought at my big big age I'd be rediscovering myself. And that's not a negative outlook, I'm a different person to who I was last week. I'm constantly changing for the better.
There are ingrained parts of me that will never settle for less than what I want (in and out of a relationship), however there are sides to me that are underdeveloped.
I'm committed to finding my sauce! haha

We can shift into a healthier place as soon as we are willing to do the work.

''Give me 7 decades of patterns and still all you need is to pivot once and do it differently'' -Vienna Pharaon 

I'll be sharing my thoughts more often and I hope whoever reads these posts can relate or gain something positive from my transparency. Ok byeeee (for now) ✌✌✌

Style Tip- To be loved, one must know love and that starts with self!